Friendship is like a game of ball. Which ball game depends on where you are at and how much you have invested in the friendship at that given moment? Typically, I like to strive for a friendship that resembles a nice easy game of tennis. I hit the ball over the net, my friend hits it back. I hit it again and she returns it to me. And then there is all that love business. Yes, I like a good game of tennis friendship. But sometimes our friendships feels a little more like tether ball, just going around and around. Or maybe football where you have the ball and are running towards the goal, but everyone else is determined to tackle you and bring you to the ground. Once in a while I have been in a friend relationship that is all about dodge ball. That is not a good place to be and if this is how your friendship feels – like you are lining yourself up on the wall only to have your friend pummel you – then you need some serious timeout.
God designs us to want, desire and need friendship relationships. Notice the word ship occurs in both friendship and relationship. That’s because we’re supposed to be in it together. A true friend, no matter what, is supposed to be there with us as a fellow crewmate as we float along on the ship of life. A friend is someone you can laugh with, confide in and cry with if needed. Yo, Ho, Ho and a bottle of….
There are different levels of friendship. There are those we might know from work or church that we can acknowledge as being on the same ship, but we aren’t intimately connected with them outside of that particular venue of knowledge. It’s OK to have friends like these. A more surface friend – an acquaintance – that when you’re together it’s pleasant and enjoyable. Most people bounce back and forth with between 8 and 15 of these types of friends at any given time in their life.
Then there are close friends. Close friends are those that we typically see more often and that when we spend time together, it doesn’t matter what we are doing, it’s just a mutual sharing of emotions. It’s comfortable. We are connected. Typically, people have a group of about 3 to 5 people that might fall in this category.
But there is one more level of friendship that is the hardest to find. Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) calls it our bosom buddy…our kindred spirit. Typically in most people’s lives, they are lucky to have just one or two friends like this during their lifetime. These are the friends that while having fun with them is great, they are both fair weather and stormy weather friends. They are the first ones you call or text when something good…or bad…happens in your life. Sometimes, you don’t have an opportunity to see them as often as you would like, but it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it just feels right. Never awkward or uncomfortable…it is a relationship built on the strength of unconditional love.
Being a close or intimate friend takes time and effort. Two things that in today’s hustle and bustle world are difficult to grasp. I have to admit that I struggle sometimes to make sure that I am taking taking time to return the ball when my friend hits it over the net, instead of just standing there watching it go out-of-bounds. When I am home more and have my life in balance, I tend to be more open to nurturing the valuable friendships in my life. But we are all given the same amount of minutes in the day and days in the week, and really, I just need to quit making excuses and send that card or pick up the phone…or hand someone a little “friendship” gift over the pew at church. This is my challenge to myself. To get back into the friendship game and spread some love!
I recently had a dear friend reach out to me (over the back of the pew) at church. With a simple hug and “I’ve been praying for you”, she gently served the ball back to me in the form of a little envelope. The card in the envelope said, “Congrats on Connie’s Corner,” (with a flower shape drawn around the words). It was then signed, “XOX Lots o’ book corners sent w/lots o’ love!” Tina. Such a small and simple gesture that on that day and time, meant so much to me.
So, I want to share with you two ideas for making some “corners” of your own, that maybe you can gift to a special friend.
1. Origami Corner Bookmark: This comes to you from a thirteen year old craft blogger named Elaine.
2. Heart Shaped Origami Bookmark: I found this on the BuzzFeed DYI blog over Valentine’s Day. The pattern and information can be found on the Bloomize craft blog.
“True friends are always together in spirit. (Anne Shirley)”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
And from my favorite book and movie series, enjoy this little video….better yet, brew a pot of coffee or pour a glass of wine….and enjoy it with a friend!
[button link=”http://youtu.be/tj7KXzZITFI” type=”big” color=”green” newwindow=”yes”] Anne of Green Gables – Friendship[/button]
Your blog has made me tear up. I had such a friend as the kindred spirit, and in the last 7 months or so she has pulled back and I have no idea why. Now we don’t talk at all. 🙁 I’ve emailed her and asked what had happened, but she is ignoring all of my communications. So now I feel like I’m floundering, wondering if I’ll ever have a close friend again. But enough about me….Thanks for the great read!
Wendy, I am sorry to bring sadness with my story. I too have had that time in my life where I lost a true friendship…and never really found out why. I know that sometimes we want answers and to just have it go back the way it was, but, I will pray that God will bless your “waiting”.